Kate and I have been married for eight years this October. We were engaged for about 18 months before that but, it almost happened much differently. In June of 2014 I knew I was going to ask Kate to marry me. We’d been dating for over a year and living together for six months. I knew. I ordered a scale that we both wanted and I timed the delivery to coincide with the arrival of the ring as to avert suspicion when a package arrived at the apartment. Let me tell you…never buy a woman a scale. I still can’t live that one down. BUT, I was successful in covering the arrival of the ring. On to the planning and execution of my mission to propose to Kate.
I scheduled a ten day New England getaway on Cape Cod for August, which is a lovely time to visit Cape Cod just in case anyone that is interested in checking it out. I had private conversations with Kate’s Mom and Dad privately so she wouldn’t know.
Her Dad was thrilled and told me, “Kate is the winning lottery ticket. You’re very lucky, young man.” YAY!
Her Mom was a little on the chillier side. She said, “Oh, that sounds like fun.” Uhhhh…
I was undeterred. I completed the planning and even set up an engagement party with some extended family members at their place in Plymouth, MA. I was texting Carol twice a day with any updates. She and her wonderful husband, Guy, set up their home with decorations and invited everyone they knew. I was going to ask Kate to marry me at the highest point of the Sagamore bridge, have a fun week or so, and cap it off with an engagement party. It was all set.
When we landed in Boston, Kate mentioned that she wasn’t ready to get married. I wasn’t sure if she knew what I was up to or if she sensed it but, she was unequivocal when we were at Logan International. I remember thinking that we would still have a fun vacation.
Our first stop was at her maternal grandmother’s place in Rhode Island, rest her soul. She was such a lovely woman and I can see why Kate was very attached to her. When Kate left the room, she asked me what my intentions were with her, but not in a threatening way. Being the worst liar, I told her what I was planning. That woman’s smile told me all I needed to know. She said I should ask her regardless of what she said (turned out to be the best advice).
When we reached the Sagamore bridge, it was raining so hard, I could barely see. That was a bad time and place to ask her…but don’t worry, I had three back up locations ready.
The first night at our AirBnB in North Eastham was really fun. We went out to dinner at a South African restaurant which was delicious. I made sure the ring was on me at all times until I popped the question. I figured there would be more than one or three or whatever opportunities. We befriended the owner and I told her to be ready with champagne. We were having such a good time that I figured, this would do. Nice place, great food, lots of wine, and a fun atmosphere. I was getting ready to spring the question on her when she brought up marriage and how she was probably ready to settle down. YAY! I was ready. A few more seconds into the conversation, Kate did a 180 on marriage. Rats! It was still a fun night, though.
The next few days we made a side trip up to New Hampshire, Maine, and back. The fourth day, we went to Nauset beach. I had the ring in my backpack…not the safest place but, meh. The beach was packed with French Canadians warming themselves on the closest sandy beach to Quebec. And when I say packed, it was PACKED. I stepped on many hands and feet that day. It wasn’t the best move to propose to Kate in front of a couple hundred French Canadians. We might get mobbed with love and applause. I figured low key was better.
So far, nothing I had planned for came to pass. Carol kept texting me to find out if I had proposed yet. She finally said she would set the house up in a neutral way with a ‘Congratulations’ banner hiding in the corner which she could put up at the last minute.
The last day on Cape Cod, we went to Marconi park. It was a cloudy day with a cool breeze coming off the ocean. We rode rented bikes up there and walked around for a couple hours. There was a gazebo near the middle of the park and I said to myself, this is it. I was going to propose right at the Gazebo. I reached into my backpack and grabbed the ring. She looked at me and said,
“I’m cold. Can we go get some lunch?”
Dang! This was not the moment. I was running out of time. We rode back toward our AirBnB, played Bocci at a local Italian restaurant by the same name and ended up back at the house. By then, the sun had come out, we were a little spent from the day and we decided to have a beer on the patio. We finished our beers and I went in to get another round. I came back outside with two fresh beers and a ring. I put the beers down on the table, dropped to one knee, and asked her to marry me.
She said YES! WOOOHOOOO!
We spent the rest of the afternoon telling our families, I let Carol know, and I took Kate out to a fancy engagement dinner in Provincetown. For those of you that don’t know, Provincetown is a big gay community. At dinner, our server asked me what I was all smiles about. I told him and what seemed like two seconds later, everyone was cheering and clapping. It was an amazing day. Kate came clean and told me that she’d expected me to propose for almost three months! Holy moly. Good thing I asked her when I did. She might’ve lost interest (probably not).
It wasn’t easy to propose and I think I got lucky, and not just that day but every day since. I’m glad I took Grandma Madeleine’s advice because Kate is the winning lottery ticket…in all the ways.
I remember that! It was fun going through all the anticipation with you! Time flies....you must be having fun. So happy for you tow and for being part of your story!
This is so sweet! It’s also interesting to hear a dude’s detailed perspective.
I’ve never been to any New England states. It looks picturesque.
Congratulations you two!